Your New Job

An adventure by John Holdun

Begin

Jane squints at you from the other side of her large wooden desk.

"You awake?" Jane squints at you from the other side of her large wooden desk. You have been sitting here for what feels like fifteen minutes and have yet to say a word.

"Hi," you sputter, "I'm—"

"I know who you are. The question is, do you know who you are?"

I have no idea.

"I don't know who I am. That's why I'm here." You slump in your chair.

Jane's eyes light up. "We can work with that. Let's start with your vision."

She gestures toward an eye chart.

You stare at the chart.

"Please read the third line from the top."

Z O R N L P

S O E N I T

S U B M I T

That was perfect. Are you fit?

Not bad. Are you fit?

Interesting. Are you fit?

I try to stay healthy.

I am a couch potato.

"Great vision and a strong body! Very intriguing."

"Health is important. I'm glad to hear that."

"You're quite a specimen, aren't you."

"That's okay. Not everyone can be a machine."

She glances at a tablet on her desk and taps it a few times. "Just one more thing. This one is more of a task, really. I'd like you to recite some original poetry. No pressure."

"The cat sat on the mat."

"There once was a man from Nantucket…"

"Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe…"

Jane tears up a bit. "That was beautiful. I think you have a lot to offer us."

She taps on her tablet some more. "Please step outside and speak to my receptionist. I look forward to seeing you again."

"Well done! That will be all. Please step outside and speak to my receptionist."

Jane does not seem impressed. "Get out of my office."

Jane does not seem impressed. "That will be all. Please step outside and speak to my receptionist."

Jane does not seem impressed. "That will be all. Please step outside and speak to my receptionist."

Leave Jane's office

You walk out of Jane's office and close the door behind you. There is a young man here, about your age, reading text as it scrolls by quickly on a tablet.

As you approach, he looks at you. His eyes are wide but he does not say a word.

There is a mechanical sound from beneath his desk. He reaches toward the thing that was making the sound and retrieves a sheet of paper.

The paper is freshly printed and warm to the touch. Looks like this is your assignment.

Read the paper

Candidate:

Thank you for your interest in reassignment. After a thorough evaluation of your skills, we have decided to place you in

PROPAGANDA UNIT

FUEL UNIT

ENFORCEMENT UNIT

SURVEILLANCE UNIT

FUEL UNIT

ASSIGNMENT UNIT

Please proceed to your new station at waking call.

That's soon. Better rest.

Go home and rest

A siren above your bed blasts three shrill tones. The waking call seems to get earlier every day. Time to get to work.

Your new uniform has already been delivered. It's a pleasant shade of beige.

Get dressed and head to work

You're on your way to work.